I have lucid dreams. I always have. Vivid in every possible way. There are a few that stand out the most of course and here is one of them. I wrote it down as soon as I woke up the next day and shared it with my mom and dad. Its not meant as anything but a recollection. Enjoy. (ps. It has NOT been edited as of yet, this is right out of my head, no fancy word re-do's, most likely several spelling errors, as we all know about me and spelling)
The sky is none existent above me. The jungle thick and teaming with life. The vines so substantial that I have to push my way through the dark abyss. I can hear growls, roars, life. My heart pounds. It is a combination of fear and the unknown. No means of protection, lost in an endless world that is strange, frightening and unfamiliar. I push threw . A force driving me beyond my range of vision, caution, knowing and understanding . This is when I hear it for the first time. A growl so deep, so fierce that it takes my breath away. Part of me wants to run. Part of me wants to scream. I am frozen in fear. My mind races. I look around for sticks or stones or some sort of measly protection. I know, in the deepest reaches of my soul , that this is the end. She steps in front of me. A lioness. She is The size of a saber tooth. Fur so bright it gleams in the sun like a golden goddess. Her eyes are fierce and serious. Her body is thick and muscular , moving with strength every breath she takes. A creature more powerful then I could ever have imagined in my deepest fears. A creature that dominates the universe, the air around me. All that has ever been, all that ever was and is. She is the life force. She steps towards me so precisely, so carefully that it was as if she was walking in the midst of lava. I knew she had been watching me. Waiting. Carefully and thoughtfully planning the attack. I step back, not able to muster any other reaction. My heart pounds. I know this is the end. An end so painful, so dreadful that all I can think of is my children. My children somewhere floating around in this endless universe. Slowly she approaches. Her eyes are wise with the ages. Her face knowing. Her breath steady and her posture sure and strait. It is as if she can see threw my soul to the darkest deepest reaches of my being. It tears threw me like a knife. It cuts my skin away to reveal nothing but the weak and trembling human that remains... it melts away all that I have ever known. She speaks to my soul. A language that my human mind can not begin to comprehend or understand. My hands are trembling, my body, gone, missing, nothing but the bare skin and bone that is my mortal self left to face her. Slowly, slowly her nose, her deep eyes come to my face. Closer and closer. I can feel her hot breath on my skin, I can hear the ground beneath her give way to her extreme power. Slowly. Slowly her eyes tear, her wise eyes, her entire being tear threw everything I know to be true with a single glance. I can hear her giant, powerful heart beating. Everything Is silent. Beat. Beat. Beat. Beat. A steady, powerful beat… mine following with a quiet, steady motion like that of a bee.. Visions of my life whiz threw me like an old picture movie at the speed of lightning. My breath full and holding in my trembling chest. I am not ready I think to myself. However, some unknown force in the universe is telling me it is my time. I understand. I do not know why I understand, as it is a wise force I have never experienced, none the less, My soul feels at peace. I open my eyes to face her. Her expression is calm. Almost loving. Understanding, like that of a mother of all life that has come from an age that we have all have long forgotten. A wave of knowledge floods threw me like electricity. It touches every cell, every lost thought, Every deep crevasse, every buried memory and emotion. Slowly I feel everything that I have ever known to be true melt away. The fear subsides , the sun appears threw the thick reaches of the trees above me and my soul speaks to her. Frozen in this world, this lost unknown world, she shows me. I no longer tremble. For this is the lioness that has overcome me countless times. The same lioness that I have run from for the span that is my life. The lioness that has ripped the very skin from my bones only to leave a carcass that is alive in thought though not body. My deepest. Darkest Fear. I do not know why she has come to me in this form. I do not know why I understand after all of these years of running hopelessly from her that she is also a mother. She is bravery. She is my deepest, darkest, most primal fear as well as knowing. She is me, forcing me to look at myself. Forcing me to see myself. A rush comes over me, tingle ling. I know that I am in no harm. I know that this Lioness has much to teach me. That she has merely been trying to reach out to me, and me, scared to face it, has run like a coward. My soul open ups to her and we touch each other on a level that can not be put into words. I understand. I will call her Sarah Bella.
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